What Cycle Is This?

I’ve been struggling to update you guys because honestly, I still don’t have answers and I am still pretty confused. I’ve never been pregnant before or tried to get pregnant before so this is very new to me as I am sure it is for some of you, too.

Aunt Flo was expected to arrive on February 15th but that day came and went without her arriving. Now, if this is the first post that you are reading on Dreaming Of Diapers and Dimples, I of course recommend reading a few of my last posts before this one so you can be up to date with what’s going on with my last cycle (I attached those posts in my related posts). I am writing this on February 18th so it’s been a few days and no sign of her. Now, this could mean a few different things - my doctor said that what I experienced 7 DPO - 12 DPO could have really been implantation bleeding or fertility related bleeding that isn’t necessarily worrisome but it could have also been a very early period. She told me to take some pregnancy tests and if I want to come back and get blood HCG, then I could. Last night I took to Google, as one does, and searched different forums for answers from real women who experienced similar things as me. I found on a few sites that there are women who didn’t get a BFP until long after their “missed” period. I saw a few posts saying 7 days after expected period, 14 days, etc. My big question is about the bleeding that I had at 7 DPO. I just wish there was a way to take some sort of test that could tell me exactly what it was. Wouldn’t that be nice?

Here are the dates that I took pregnancy tests and got BFNs:

Tuesday, February 12th

Wednesday, February 13th

Thursday, February 14th

Friday, February 15th

Saturday, February 16

I have decided that I am going to just move on and act like I am in cycle 8, even though I honestly don’t know what cycle I am in. Isn’t that crazy? I could be 3 days late or on day 5 of cycle 8. That would be another glorious test to be able to take. If only I was a biologist of some sort and could create it.

Something that I have been experiencing lately is headache after headache. I don’t get these often but since I started TTC, I have realized that I have gotten them more often. When I research it, it appears that it is a hormonal headache which makes sense. Wouldn’t it be weird if I was having “symptoms” and I have’t ovulate for cycle 8 yet? I feel like I am really reaching here. Don’t mind me!

If that was my period, then it was my first irregular period. I have been thinking about that a lot because I know that a lot of women on my Diapers & Dimples Instagram page suffer from irregular periods every month. Not that I couldn’t sympathize before, but now I have been in their mindset for a month and all I can say is that, it sucks. Anyone out there who deals with this once, twice, three times, every month - you are WARRIORS. I am so serious. Coming from a woman who is a planner and hates when things don’t go as they should, I can’t do this again. It’s the “not knowing” that is killing me. I think that I mentioned it in one of my last posts but I use the GLOW app and feel that it is pretty accurate so, now I can’t trust it because my cycle is out of wack.

This whole TTC experience so far has really given me a new respect for women. Again, not that I didn’t have this respect before - I just understand it on a different level.

I am so thankful to have this platform and have met some of you incredible dreamers. You are all strong, bad-ass mama’s and you’re future babies will be so lucky that you fought to have them.

Happy Sunday, everyone!